As I understand it, the big appeal of Amazon’s new FirePhone is that it makes shopping easier.
Really?
Is shopping actually that difficult?
I’d rather have a phone that made shopping harder. That way, I’d be far less inclined to end up with half a dozen unworn pairs of shoes in my closet and that weird chopper thing alleged to julienne onions with a single pulse but which really only grinds them to an inedible pulp before jamming and clogging the sink drain with its detritus.
The idea that we might need to buy a device to help us purchase other things breaks my heart and blows my mind. Have we really gotten to the point as a species that we’ll spend money on things that help us spend money?
Oh, and by the way, get the hell offa my lawn!
I realize that this sort of complaining marks me as an old crank; so be it. Many new developments are great: the widespread availability of Greek yogurt, LED bike lights, Wes Anderson’s latest film, for example.
But just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should do it. Even if science and engineering can make a phone that shops for us isn’t carte blanche that it should do so.
I have no doubt, for instance, that Apple could invent a device that would enable people to have multiple orgasms while driving on the freeway. As pleasant as that might be during long drives through Nebraska, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be a good thing.
I’m in favor of natural governors on our behavior. One of my longstanding rules is that if I’m too intoxicated to unlock my bike, then I’m not allowed to ride it. A corollary to this is that if you’re too stoned to light the joint, then you don’t get to smoke it.
Some things should be a little difficult.
Really: if you’re too mixed up to buy something, then you shouldn’t.
Really?
Is shopping actually that difficult?
I’d rather have a phone that made shopping harder. That way, I’d be far less inclined to end up with half a dozen unworn pairs of shoes in my closet and that weird chopper thing alleged to julienne onions with a single pulse but which really only grinds them to an inedible pulp before jamming and clogging the sink drain with its detritus.
The idea that we might need to buy a device to help us purchase other things breaks my heart and blows my mind. Have we really gotten to the point as a species that we’ll spend money on things that help us spend money?
Oh, and by the way, get the hell offa my lawn!
I realize that this sort of complaining marks me as an old crank; so be it. Many new developments are great: the widespread availability of Greek yogurt, LED bike lights, Wes Anderson’s latest film, for example.
But just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should do it. Even if science and engineering can make a phone that shops for us isn’t carte blanche that it should do so.
I have no doubt, for instance, that Apple could invent a device that would enable people to have multiple orgasms while driving on the freeway. As pleasant as that might be during long drives through Nebraska, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be a good thing.
I’m in favor of natural governors on our behavior. One of my longstanding rules is that if I’m too intoxicated to unlock my bike, then I’m not allowed to ride it. A corollary to this is that if you’re too stoned to light the joint, then you don’t get to smoke it.
Some things should be a little difficult.
Really: if you’re too mixed up to buy something, then you shouldn’t.
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