Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Prognostication


Of course, the world is going to hell in a handbasket.

The environment is fucked; international geopolitics suicidal; financial systems collapsing; the best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity; yes, we’re doomed.

But a person gets tired of hearing that, you know?  I mean, we’re all going to die, right, but is that all anyone has to talk about?

Amidst the dire forecasts of environmental, societal, financial, and cultural collapse, there are some good things to look forward to, aren’t there?  How about:

*     My tomatoes are doing really well this year; I’ve already enjoyed great bounty, and in the next few weeks, I’m confident that dozens more will ripen on the vine
*     The 2020 Chevrolet Corvette looks awesome
*     Ebola appears to be treatable, if not curable
*     The longstanding war between dogs and cats may end in our lifetimes
*     I’ll be dead before the all the glaciers melt
*     Meat grown in laboratories will soon be available in stores; sugar-free candy made entirely from recycled plastic is on the horizon
*     Donald Trump will eventually not be President of the US
*     Pretty soon, language-translator implants will be commercially-viable
*     The tattoo fad cannot go on forever
*     It’s only a matter of time (time being infinite) before the Seattle Mariners win the World Series
*     Cell phones will appear to our descendants as quaint and old-fashioned as does the Pony Express to us
*     The novel is still not dead and will surely outlive us all
*     Human composting becomes legal and widely-adopted
*     By the year 2050, no one will read from bulleted lists in PowerPoint anymore
*     The popularity of the board game, “Monopoly” will continue to decline
*     We’re having potatoes for dinner
*     A twelve-blade razor will surely be the norm before too long
*     This really is the Rolling Stones’ final tour
*     The next dominant species after human beings won’t have a planet full of fossil fuels to use up
*     I won’t be writing another essay about prognostication anytime soon


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