Napping

Most people think the know how to nap.  You lie down on a couch or bed and doze off, ideally in the middle of the day.

Sure.

But that’s not real napping.

Real napping happens when one is sitting up, in a chair, ideally while reading a book, especially a non-fiction book.

One minute, you’re learning about how the brain works or getting new information as to the causes of World War I.  The next, you’re drooling on yourself, dropping your book on the floor, and nodding off.

It takes some effort to develop this skill, but with practice, even the most restless person can succeed.  It helps to choose a book with really dense text; the fewer paragraph breaks, the better.  Research has shown that analytical philosophy, especially the works of Alfred North Whitehead, are particularly effective.

Another time-honored tip is to choose a chair that’s soft, has solid armrests, and allows you to put your feet up on an ottoman or coffee table.  That nearly-prone position might be considered cheating by some traditionalists, but as long as one doesn’t recline fully, even the International Society of Afternoon Nappers approves.

That’s another point, by the way: afternoon naps are fine, but represent only Junior Varsity level napping.  The truly accomplished napper naps throughout the day, even before lunch.

For guidance on napping, refer to my dog.  She manages to nap after breakfast, before lunch, after lunch, mid-afternoon, at teatime, before dinner, and right before bed.  That’s impressive!

Some might contend that such behavior is really just sleeping away the day, but again, as long as you’ve got a book on your lap, it counts as napping, and one need not worry that what’s really going on is incipient or extant depression.

After all, if I can nap four to six or even eight hours a day, what do I have to be depressed about?  A good question, to be sure; I think I’ll sleep on it.