You should never take unsolicited advice; consequently, since you didn't ask for this, you ought to resist it. If you do, however, you haven’t, so you might as well take heed. Or not.
Never text while walking across the street. It’s not only dangerous, but more importantly, it makes it seem like you had a mom who didn’t love you enough to warn you against doing so.
Don’t drive stoned. It cuts into the buzz.
Nelson Algren said, “Don’t eat a place called ‘Mom’s;’ never play cards with a guy named ‘Doc;’ and don’t sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.” Sound counsel to be sure, but to be on the safe side, you ought to also resist sleeping with a woman called “Moms” especially if she is cooking for a guy named “Doc.”
My friend, Chad Worcester is of the mind that one should never purchase perishables like food or drink with a credit card because when the bill comes, you’ll have nothing to show for the cost. I think it makes more sense to only purchase food and drink with a credit card; you just need to make sure it’s not your own.
“Never mix, never worry” is what they tell novice drinkers. For the more seasoned alcoholic the counsel should be simply “Never worry,” an outcome more likely to be achieved insofar as one keeps mixing all evening long.
The most important piece of advice anyone of a certain age can offer to someone who is approaching their golden years is to always refrain from wearing khaki pants to an all-day meeting. If you don’t know why, then you’re just not old enough to understand the reason. But one day, you will be.
It’s not a good idea to eat a heavy meal right before bedtime, but if reading this has made you tired, then you should fix yourself some toast and Tabasco sauce. That will perk you right up.
Never text while walking across the street. It’s not only dangerous, but more importantly, it makes it seem like you had a mom who didn’t love you enough to warn you against doing so.
Don’t drive stoned. It cuts into the buzz.
Nelson Algren said, “Don’t eat a place called ‘Mom’s;’ never play cards with a guy named ‘Doc;’ and don’t sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.” Sound counsel to be sure, but to be on the safe side, you ought to also resist sleeping with a woman called “Moms” especially if she is cooking for a guy named “Doc.”
My friend, Chad Worcester is of the mind that one should never purchase perishables like food or drink with a credit card because when the bill comes, you’ll have nothing to show for the cost. I think it makes more sense to only purchase food and drink with a credit card; you just need to make sure it’s not your own.
“Never mix, never worry” is what they tell novice drinkers. For the more seasoned alcoholic the counsel should be simply “Never worry,” an outcome more likely to be achieved insofar as one keeps mixing all evening long.
The most important piece of advice anyone of a certain age can offer to someone who is approaching their golden years is to always refrain from wearing khaki pants to an all-day meeting. If you don’t know why, then you’re just not old enough to understand the reason. But one day, you will be.
It’s not a good idea to eat a heavy meal right before bedtime, but if reading this has made you tired, then you should fix yourself some toast and Tabasco sauce. That will perk you right up.
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