Adieu

If you do Ashtanga yoga for many years, there will come a time when you begin saying goodbye to poses that you used to be able to do.

Consider the historical trajectory of your practice: you begin my learning some initial postures—the sun salutations, a couple of standing poses, Trikonasana and Uttitha Parsvokanasa, a few sitting poses, Paschimottanasa and Purvottanasana, and then, as you develop flexibility and strength, you add new ones (or, in the traditional model, you teacher “gives” you new ones when you’re ready.)

Perhaps there comes that day when you can bind all by yourself in Marichyasana “D,” and you’re able to roll around with your arms through your lotus in Garbha Pindasana; your teacher “gives” you the first few poses of the Second Series; you’re on your way to being an “Advanced Practitioner,” wow!

But then, maybe you have an injury, or there’s a pandemic and you gain a few pounds, or maybe (or in addition to), you’re just getting older and it’s harder to reach around and clasp that hand that used to be so accessible.  Paschasana goes away first and then, within the passage of a few years or even months, it’s goodbye to Marichyasana “D” and sooner or later, “B.”

No longer is it all about “progress.”  Your teacher’s promise that if you just keep working steadily, you’ll one day be able to achieve postures that are currently out of reach no longer rings true.

The mantra that has kept you going all these years, “Do your practice, all is coming,” has now become “Do your practice, all is going.”

But that’s okay.  You learn to bid a fond adieu to physical postures you were once able to do.  

It’s not about giving up; it’s about giving in—to life, to the impermanence of all things, to your ego’s conception of who you are and what makes you worthwhile.

It’s about giving over to discernment: goodbye, delusion; hello reality.